Everyone Knows It's Windy

So, where I live, we sometimes have windy days. So windy, in fact, that I think I can truly understand that passage in James Herriot's books. In Yorkshire, he said, they have what's called 'thin wind' or a 'lazy wind', so called because it can't be bothered to blow around you, but instead just blows straight through you. Cold weather here is ten times worse when the wind is fierce, let me tell you.

Weird Things You Say While Playing Sims

Let's face it, Sims is a weird game sometimes. Even weirder are the things we say while playing the game. I mean, in what other game can you question why someone's been wandering around in a towel for days, or bemoan the fact that Bob was abducted by aliens and now he's gained weight? Or announce that your toddler has hair floating a foot above their head? Today's post is about the weird things we say while playing Sims.

I have no idea how a wild horse wound up in the unrouteable area beyond the basement.

Braces

Yes, folks, braces. Those evil medieval torture devices that orthodontists love to torture their patients with. They nail metal brackets to your teeth, then attach a wire to the brackets, which they tighten until the victim is screaming in agony. Then they take you to the Pit of Despair, where they strap you to a machine that sucks away your life.

Signs a Hotel is Bad

Most of us have stayed at hotels in our lives. Sometimes these stays are good, other times less so. Sometimes you get a hotel room, then leave an hour later because you value your life. Here are some indications that your hotel room may not be the best, to put it mildly.

How to Destroy Jewelry

Jewelry is made of many different materials, some of them more durable than others. Hematite, for example, is an inexpensive material sometimes used in jewelry. However, it's also somewhat fragile. I've read many stories of how acts of clumsiness resulted in fragile jewelry breaking.

And I can't help but think to myself, I probably shouldn't choose anything fragile for jewelry. Let's face it, I'd find some way to accidentally break it. As I thought more about this, many wild and absurd scenarios emerged in my mind. Allow me to explain.

Random Weird Theories I Have

We all have those theories that are hard to prove, or that might sound crazy to some. But nonetheless, you're certain they're true. For example, Immortalkitten is certain that her cat knows when she's thinking of using her drawing tablet. Being insanely jealous of the silly square Kitten likes to pet, the cat will get in the way, sitting on her tablet while she's trying to use it... or settling in Kitten's lap before she even makes a move to get her drawing tablet.

Anyway, here are some interesting or weird theories of mine.

Signs You've Been Playing Too Much Sims

There are thousands upon thousands of great games out there. Among those are the Sims games. I mean, there's so many things you can do in these games. Of course, sometimes we find ourselves playing Sims so much that we begin to live and breathe Sims. It consumes our thoughts, until the day we stumble out of bed one morning, poke the shower, and wonder why it's taking so long for the pie menu to pop up. Anyway, here are some signs that you may be playing too much Sims.

Death By Hiccups

My brother came home from work one day, and we asked how his day was. "Well," he replied, "other than almost dying today, it was fine."

Apparently, at some point during his shift, he got a case of the hiccups. He does online shopping orders, so he was going around the store while hiccupping over and over. He tried various methods of getting rid of his hiccups, but they persisted.

Finally, he decided to try drinking some water. Problem was, right as he went to swallow, he hiccupped. Since he was in the grocery section, he was trying desperately not to cough and spray water everywhere. So there he stood, making strangled choking noises while he attempted to swallow.

A spectacle like that is bound to attract the attention of everyone around, right? "No. Earlier I hiccupped loudly, and someone asked me if I was all right. But me dying in the middle of produce? No one batted an eye."

Christian Camp Bus

Came into work one day, and was going through the usual routine. Making sure the bathrooms and dining area were stocked and clean, taking customers' orders, that sort of thing. It was summer, so it wasn't very busy like it is on school days.

At one point, I noticed one of the trash cans seemed full. Shoved the trash down, just to make sure, but it didn't make much difference. All right, time to take this out. I pulled the bag out of the trash can, twisted the top and tied it. Around that time, people started coming in. Great. It was fairly slow, but the instant I started taking the trash out, that's when customers start showing up. I'll have to serve them here in a moment...

Cashier Pet Peeves

After working as a cashier, you start to notice common themes, some of which eventually take the form of pet peeves. The vague descriptions or wrong names so you can't figure out what they're trying to order, or the gust of wind through the drive-thru window that makes a five-dollar bill try to fly away from you.

Who Needs Coats?

Recently, I went to a Mexican restaurant with some of my family. During the meal, my aunt was talking about how she stopped by her church the other day, and saw a jacket in one of the rooms.

"Huh, that's interesting." she thought. "It looks just like mine."

Then she began to wonder, "Wait, is it mine? I don't recall if I brought it home with me the other day."

As it turned out, the jacket was hers. She had left it there two weeks ago, and it had been sitting there, lonely and forgotten, for all that time. She hadn't even realized she had lost it until that moment.

We finished eating, and left the restaurant. Mom was going to my aunt's house to play card games and hang out, and I had an appointment later that day, so we went our separate ways.

Starting Work

Okay, I said I was gonna return to writing stuff for my blog, then lost motivation and neglected this for a zillion years, so let's try this again. So, my first day of work... wasn't quite what I expected.

Basically, I got there, and the manager said, "Well, we'll start you off with some orientation videos." So I started doing those, and was thinking, So, I just do a few videos, and then I start the actual on-the-job training?

And the others informed me, "No, you have to do all of these." The entire big long list. A million bajillion videos and quizzes and such. I had to finish all of them before I started actually working. And they were saying they did a million of them when they started, too. 

Imagine being in school, doing five hours of independent study courses online. Except there's no other students or teachers, you're just mostly sitting alone unless someone pops in briefly, or you leave the room for a short time for something. That was pretty much my day. Just sitting in the back office, doing stuff on that computer. Forever.

On the plus side, I did eventually complete all the training courses, and finally got to do actual hands-on stuff. Which brings me to my next point of interest.

Returning From Hiatus Again

Take two! (snaps director's block) I must say, that's rather satisfying. (snaps block repeatedly)

Anyway, I'm going to try this again. I sort of petered out on everything, including my blog. I had started losing traction in 2019, and I think the disaster that was 2020 only worsened things. I took a hiatus for a while, then decided I would try to get back to blogging. Wrote a few blog posts, then just... disappeared again. Which I can't say I'm proud of, especially since I claimed my hiatus was over, and I started discussing something and never finished. I hope you weren't too curious about my new job, because I've left you in suspense for so long that you're probably old and grey by now.

This time, I've decided to take a different approach. I wrote a bunch of blog posts in advance, which will be published every two weeks. At the time I'm posting this, I'm scheduled up to May. That way, I have a large time cushion to fall back on, and won't feel so rushed or pressured.