Not long ago, I wrote this.
In the song ‘It Is Well With My Soul’, there’s the verse “When sorrows like sea billows roll”. And that pretty much describes my feelings.“Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, ‘It is well with my soul’”. But often I have trouble with that. Because I don’t feel like things are well. I feel like my soul is aching, hurting, has a big gaping wound in it that weeps and bleeds.
Then a few days later, I saw this post by Reagan Colbert.
It's like a reminder that no matter how heavy my heart may be, even when the pain, the sadness, and the grief seem overwhelming at times, not all is lost. At times I feel like I'm shattered into at least a thousand pieces, but here I am, still functioning.
Maybe my heart is wounded and bleeding. Maybe I'm going through a rough time where I don't know what I'm doing, who I am, where I'm going with my life. Maybe this is a transition period and it's hard. But I'm not utterly desolate.
And God is there, through all of it. He's there to pick up the pieces. He's there to bring me wisdom and comfort, to offer His hand when I'm at my lowest. Through Him, I can find rest and refuge and strength, if only I stop and look for it.
Family and friends are there. So many people are there. At times, I find the thing I want or need when I'm not even looking for it. Even when things are hard, there's that ray of light, that way out of the darkness. And God finds a way of pulling me out from the misery.
So as I write this tonight, I'd like to take a moment to thank God for all that He's done for me, the people and the things He's brought to me. And I pray that I don't forget it, don't get sidetracked from it. When things are hard, sometimes all you look at is that pain. But Psalm 121 says, "I lift my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of the heavens and the earth." I just pray I can remember that, and focus on that, and not be lost within the depths of my pain and sorrow.
It's a reminder to anyone, really. No matter how bad things get, no matter how hard it might seem, there's always hope, there's always someone there. Healing takes time. Change takes time. But even though it feels a million miles away, sometimes you just need to have faith, just cling to the promise of tomorrow and the grace of God. Because in the darkest hour, He will never leave or forsake you. Not now, not for all eternity. And that should be our source of comfort, to know that we don't walk alone, that God provides. All we need is faith the size of a mustard seed, and mountains will move.