How to Avoid Dishes and Laundry

Do you hate doing dishes and laundry? Would you rather die than deal with socks and cereal bowls? Today, I'll be providing you with tips on how to deal with those unfortunate chores.

 

Get Off My Lawn

When my brother was in school, for a while he would walk to and from there. At one house along the way, there was an elderly man who would always yell at the passing kids to stay off of his lawn. The kids were killing the grass by walking on it, he complained.

In fact, he was so annoyed by the prospect of someone stepping on his beloved lawn, that he started standing outside to better keep watch on the passing students. And, my brother said, you could tell where the man usually stood during his sentry duty.

...Because there were two big patches of dead grass there. Apparently the irony was lost on this person.

Things Learned From Funny Videos

Over the years, I've seen many funny videos. Whether it's home videos or surveillance footage from a business, whether it's online or on a TV series like 'America's Funniest Home Videos', there's a wide variety of comical things to see.

And, after watching so many of these, I've come up with a few theories on potentially dangerous things. Besides the obvious problem of crazy stunts (it's a wonder more men aren't infertile, considering their tendency to ride their bike off the roof, part company with the bike in mid-air, and land crotch-first on a metal pole), I've noticed a few other common themes with people getting hurt. Here are a few of these observations.

 

When You Wake Up Late

One morning, back when I was working at Taco Bell, my alarm went off for work. I had a notification on my phone, so I looked at who texted me, then lay there thinking, "Well, better get up soon."
Then I dozed off. A little later, my mom opened my door and told me it was 10 o'clock. My shift started in half an hour. I hurriedly got ready to go and went to work.
It was a fairly typical day, nothing too remarkable about it. That is, until around 12:40, when my manager said, "Oh, I forgot to tell you... Your shirt is on backwards."
Two hours I had been like this, and hadn't even noticed. Of course, now... "Thanks a lot. Now that you've pointed it out, it's all I can think about." When I went on break, I fixed my shirt in the bathroom. This is what happens when you get dressed in a hurry...

A Studio Ghibli Dream

Some time back, I had an interesting dream. It started out with this girl talking to a dragon named Chiro, who looked like the dragon from 'Spirited Away'. (Also, the girl in that movie is named Chihiro, which is rather similar.)