Teleportation

Sometimes I think about how cool it would be if we could just teleport. It would certainly make things more convenient at times. Think of all the things you could do with that ability! Think of all the time, effort, and money saved!

You really need milk, and the shampoo bottle is getting low, but the snow and ice is a mile high and nobody bothers to plow the side roads. Just teleport to and from the grocery store, problem solved.

You'd like to visit your family in Florida more often, but it's a twenty-week drive over there, and flying is expensive and an enormous hassle. (What do you mean, I can't take a water bottle larger than half an ounce? That's about one mouthful.) Just pack a couple of bags and teleport to their doorstep. Oh dear, forgot to pack socks. Ah well, just make a quick trip to your dresser back on the other side of the country and come back again.

Also, you've always wanted to visit Scotland, but who wants to spend sixteen hours crammed in economy seating with some stranger practically sitting in your lap? With teleportation, you can cross the Atlantic in the time it takes to cough three times.

 

Horrible Things in Commercials

Do you ever look at commercials and think, "Man, that's the stupidest thing I ever saw in my life"? Whether the product itself is ridiculous, or the way it's advertised is just awful, sometimes we witness the most ridiculous things in advertising.

Finally, a decent ad.

Homeowner's Association

The Homeowner's Association. The villain in many a story. You must all paint your houses the same shade of beige, you must keep your grass at precisely this height, you must not keep your rusty old junker on cinder blocks in the front yard. So unreasonable, right? And for all these wonderful features, you get to pay a hefty HOA fee!

Which brings me to the point of my story: What if someone lived in an area that had a Homeowner's Association, and went out of their way to annoy the HOA? My friend and I were talking about this some time back, and I went on a rather ridiculous monologue.

 

School Days Vs Adulthood

In many ways, adulthood and school days seem very different. But in other ways, they feel similar. Today's post is about grown-up things that feel remarkably similar to annoying stuff you had to deal with in school.

 

Everything Happens At Once- A Tale of Expiration

It's a lovely time of year. Winter is coming to an end, and there are exciting holidays like Valentine's Day, Half-Price Chocolate Day, and St. Patrick's Day. It's a time of change, a time of new life. Robins perch in the trees, ants tromp through the house... Wait, what. Hand me that can of Raid, would you?

Anyway, it's a time of many things. So much can happen. Including the possibility of... every blasted thing happening at once. At least, it was this year. Grab some popcorn to eat, or some rotten fruit to throw, because it's a wild ride.

It's the Neverending Story...