Friday, October 28, 2016

Investigation of Crime Rates- part 4

Since my return to the United States, not much has changed. There is the unfortunate fact that no one recognizes me since having to change my name and appearance. The other day I saw myself in the mirror and thought someone had broken into my house. There is also the issue of needing to find a new crew for my private jet, seeing as my pilot no longer lives anywhere nearby, my flight attendant in enjoying a great life in Narnia and has no plans to return to the boring planet Earth, and my other flight attendant is still on his safari trip and hasn't been seen in years.

Friday, October 21, 2016

Investigation of Crime Rates- part 3

I flew through the air for a few days, narrowly missing flocks of birds, before the vehicle finally began to descend. Missing a pickup truck by mere inches, I landed with a great thump which jarred my brain greatly. I'm certain it ricocheted off my skull for a few minutes before finally coming to rest in its original position again. Hopefully the rental company wouldn't notice that huge cranium-shaped dent in the vehicle's roof.

Friday, October 14, 2016

Investigation of Crime Rates- part 2

One thing the car rental company neglected to mention was that the vehicle's previous owner was an eccentric old maniac. The man had owned the car since his third month in the womb, and therefore was very fond of it. He also had an affinity for muscle cars, so at one point he had taken the worn-out motor out of the vehicle and replaced it with that of a race car retired from the Indy 500.

Friday, October 7, 2016

Investigation of Crime Rates- part 1

As an detective, I'm always looking into things, making sure people are abiding by laws, and trying to find ways to make the United States a better country to live in. So when I heard that many places had a lower crime rate, of course I had to investigate it, to find out their secrets.