Returning From Hiatus Again

Take two! (snaps director's block) I must say, that's rather satisfying. (snaps block repeatedly)

Anyway, I'm going to try this again. I sort of petered out on everything, including my blog. I had started losing traction in 2019, and I think the disaster that was 2020 only worsened things. I took a hiatus for a while, then decided I would try to get back to blogging. Wrote a few blog posts, then just... disappeared again. Which I can't say I'm proud of, especially since I claimed my hiatus was over, and I started discussing something and never finished. I hope you weren't too curious about my new job, because I've left you in suspense for so long that you're probably old and grey by now.

This time, I've decided to take a different approach. I wrote a bunch of blog posts in advance, which will be published every two weeks. At the time I'm posting this, I'm scheduled up to May. That way, I have a large time cushion to fall back on, and won't feel so rushed or pressured.

So, what's changed in the last thousand or so years? (Let's face it, 2020 was much longer than a year. March alone lasted centuries.) Well, towards the end of June 2021, I started working at Taco Bell. Left that job in March 2024. Spent several months trying to find a new job, but it seems darned-near impossible to get hired anywhere. Everyone's looking for jobs, and I'm just a grain of sand on a vast beach of applicants. I'm thinking of taking up house-cleaning, see how that works out for me.

I haven't been working much on my stories. I come up with ideas occasionally, take down a few notes, but not much actual writing has occurred. I've scarcely touched anything in ages. I started a couple of stories, then never got back to them. It's one reason after another. Often I just don't feel like it, telling myself maybe I'll do it another day. Sometime I feel like I'm just not in the right mindset for it, not in the right place mentally. It's one of those things I want to do, but don't. Or more specifically, something I want to want to do. It's a frustrating, inhibiting feeling.

I've taken various trips, done various things, which I'll expand upon in later posts. Some of them are interesting, some just comedic failures. I played EverQuest II with my online friend for a while, until we got tired of it. Played a fan-made Pokémon game for a bit, too. Also discovered I could play Sims 3 again by logging into my EA account. I thought I would need the disc for it, which I'm not sure I have any more. As a result, I've been playing a lot of Sims these past few years. I think I have a plumbob floating above my head now.

I started learning to drive, something I should have done ages ago. Haven't practiced as much lately, though. After I quit working at Taco Bell, I didn't work on it as often. Still got some way to go before getting my license. The concept of driving in traffic, especially since I live in the city where we actually have traffic, makes me nervous.

I also began going to therapy this year. It was something I'd contemplated off and on, but always dismissed it or made some excuse to myself. "No, I don't need to." "Well, if I still feel crummy after so-and-so thing, then maybe I'll do it." But let's face it, in many ways, things aren't much improving mentally. I've been depressed for ages, I have anger issues, and I lack things like motivation and self-worth. I have to do something other than spiralling deeper in the hell of hating myself and feeling utterly useless.

And of course, I decided to try picking up the long-neglected task of my blog again. Started planning out a schedule, made a list of ideas for blog posts, and began actually writing some of them, as well as finishing some drafts I started ages ago. The sad thing is, I still have over 30 drafts. Some of them have been sitting there so long, I might just need to call it quits and delete those. It's an insane jumble of half-baked ideas, and I'm not sure how many are worth trying to finish. Oh well, I guess it fits in with all the half-finished stories I've written, that I keep telling myself I'll get back to someday.

How many unfinished story and Blogger drafts, you may ask? Allow me to show you the list.

But that about concludes the recap of my lost years. I'll elaborate further on the past few years in upcoming blog posts. Some highlights include summoning crowds with garbage, an ill-fated trip that was supposed to be fun, and some really fowl tales.