Wednesday, December 27, 2017

When You're Tired or Distracted

We do a lot of strange things when we're tired or preoccupied, some of them rather interesting. Our scatter-brained tendencies cause some situations worthy of a stand-up comedy routine or TV sitcom. Below are a few examples of this.

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Phone Spam

Most of us are familiar with the spam messages one gets in their e-mail inbox. Fifty percent off some disgusting product you wouldn't buy in a million years! Or a message whose sender is the name of someone you know, but the e-mail address is something weird, and all it has is a strange-looking link. Nope, not clicking on that. I like my computer without the adware and crippling viruses.
But what about phone calls? Yes, the dreaded phone calls that leave us scrambling to answer them, only to discover it's Rachel from Cardholder Services, or that our Windows PC is in grave danger. And how do we respond to these calls? "Oh no, I accidentally hit the 'end' button on the phone." "Whoops, I lost my grip on the receiver and it fell back onto its cradle, effectively hanging up on that very important call!"
But let's go farther than that. Let's entertain thoughts of the ways we'd like to reply to those calls, a few humorous scenarios of how these calls could go.

You're breaking up! The house is going through a tunnel! -Gilmore Girls
Kkkkshskk... (click)

Saturday, December 16, 2017

It's the Simple Things

We have many goals in life. Some of them may be difficult to obtain. But let's not forget the simple of pleasures of life... like this.
Below are pictures which describe one of my dreams.

Saturday, December 9, 2017

Game Show Failure

If you've ever watched some of these game shows, you've probably been frustrated by the contestants. They're asked a question, and sometimes they give them weirdest or most obviously wrong answers. This is infinitely worse if they have limited time. Watch 'Chain Reaction', and you'll be going mad with the random things they blurt under pressure. Occasionally, you begin to suspect that the producers found the most clueless people possible to play their game show.

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Things Generally Said to Animals

We say many different things to people, animals, or inanimate objects every day. Most of the dialogue is completely sane, normal conversation (with the exception of me). However, there are some things which sound odd or nonsensical, unless you're speaking to an animal.

Saturday, December 2, 2017

Measuring Insanity

Sometimes I find myself to be extremely weird. Then I see something like this, and I feel much more sane.

owlcityofficial-  Last night I dreamed Abraham Lincoln chased me down the sidewalk waving an Applebee's menu at me, and I was runni g as fast as I could, nervously tucking and untucking my shirt into the back of my underwear, and Abraham Lincoln was like, 'Come back here you ugly little snot,' and I was like 'No, leave me alone!' and then I tucked my shirt so far into my pants I got super dizzy and everyone immediately started making fun of me, and I screamed in anger, and then Robin Williams texted me a picture of a dustpan.
For more non-sensical things, please consult the Investigation of Crime Rates series or Adam Young's blog.