Cashier Pet Peeves

After working as a cashier, you start to notice common themes, some of which eventually take the form of pet peeves. The vague descriptions or wrong names so you can't figure out what they're trying to order, or the gust of wind through the drive-thru window that makes a five-dollar bill try to fly away from you.

1. When it's the beginning of the day, not many purchases made yet... and someone comes in, orders eight dollars' worth of food, then hands you a hundred. Excuse me, sir, this is not the Ritz, this is a fast food place. And this till hasn't even been open for very long. I HAVE NO MONEY.
2. When someone pulls out a crumpled, many-times-folded wad of bills, then hands it to you. You then waste time trying to unfold and somewhat smooth them out so you can actually count it and put it in the register in some semblance of neatness.
3. When the receipt printer runs out of paper, so you put in a new roll, but it still claims there's an error. Everything is set up perfectly, why are you acting like this.
4. Finding something in the wrong compartment of the cash drawer. How did this penny get in with the dimes? And why is there a quarter with the nickels? Go back where you belong.
5. "Do you guys have (insert item here that the store or restaurant has never, to your knowledge, ever had in the history of ever)?"
   
6. When you're trying to read back the order, and the customers are too busy chatting amongst themselves to pay a speck of attention to anything you're saying. They say the customer is always right, but if the order turns out to be wrong, that's on you guys, not me.
7. Also, when you read back the order, and the customer says, "No, I wanted..." and then repeats exactly what you just said.
8. Customers who mutter, mumble, or just speak really softly. Bonus points if there's a lot of background noise, or if they're standing fifty feet away from the counter. It's a long way to Tipperary, mate, I can't hear you from over there.
9. "Can I get a large drink?" "Okay." "What?" After the billionth time your acknowledgement of what they said gets met with "huh" or "what", you begin to wonder why you bother with a response at all.
10. You just got into work, wait on a customer, then when you open the register to put in the money and give them their change, you discover that you have little or none of a certain thing. I have three one-dollar bills, a small handful of pennies, and there's no way this quarter supply will survive the lunch rush.
11. When people change their minds eighty times about what they're ordering. You delete, add, delete, add, and delete items again so many times, you're on the verge of losing your mind.
12. When a customer pays you in eighty billion coins. A few bucks' worth of quarters isn't too bad, but at a certain point, it just becomes 'why me', because it'll take an eternity to count it all out.
    
13. When you need to open the register for something, and the keys have magically disappeared. "Has anyone seen the keys?" "Not I, not I."
14. How some people don't know how to swipe a gift card. The magnetic stripe needs to be in the card reader, you're holding it the wrong way.
15. When the counter has multiple registers, and people try to put their card in the wrong card reader. This machine is the closest to the register you're at, and you can literally see the cords connecting the card reader to the register. Why are you going over there.
16. The customers who vaguely point at the menu and say "That one," instead of saying which item they want. I never know where exactly people are pointing. Please provide some verbal context other than "that one taco thing" while gesturing towards a screen with fifty different tacos.
17. When you're in the middle of taking an order, and the register decides this is the time to completely freeze up and have to be rebooted.
    
18. When putting away money and counting change, the money tries to escape from you. Fine, quarter, fall out of my hand and onto the floor. You can just stay on those tiles until you die. (Yes, I lecture coins for their rudeness.)
19. That one register key that got bent and doesn't work any more. And somehow, you manage to put that key in occasionally, to no avail. Someone really needs to take that off the keyring.
20. "Is that everything?" "Yeah." You then click the button to go to the payment screen, and the customer says, "Oh, and can I also get..." I literally just asked you if that was all, and you said yes.
21. When paper money is damp. You wonder why it's damp, and wonder if you really want to know why, and then you feel compelled to wash your hands because you think too much.