Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Packing Books

So I have to pack up all of my stuff, and I have an insane amount of it. Belongings seem to grow and multiply when you try to put them into boxes, and quadruple in weight once surrounded by cardboard.
Of course, one thing that helps when moving is asking yourself, "Is there anything here I don't really want or need?" While this method has reduced the amount of stuff somewhat, it still doesn't change the fact that I own a billion things. And in regards to the books I've removed with this method, it's like trying to reduce a dog's weight by brushing out the dead hairs, or trying to put out an enormous forest fire by sneezing at it.
My desire to procrastinate also aids with this problem. In fact, I'm on my computer when I could be packing things. And when I am packing, I find ways to be distracted from it. I just don't want to do it, though it needs to be done, and I'm running low on time.
But in the meantime, please enjoy this list of complaints, excuses, and other things related to the packing process.

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Death of a Twinkie

Back in 2013, when the Hostess company was out of business, I found this online. Amazing what some people will buy, isn't it? Naturally, I had to keep the screenshot.

Twinkie coffin sold online

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Grading Plagiarism

I saw a hilarious picture online a few years back. If I was a teacher, I would definitely want this stamp for grading work.

Gandalf 'you shall not pass' stamp on research paper

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

The Silhouette in the Hall

One day, my friend was in the bathroom getting ready to go somewhere. She was Face-Timing with her mother, and thought she was alone in the house.
Just then, she saw a tall, looming silhouette of a man in the hall. She screamed bloody murder, staring in wide-eyed horror. In her panic, she didn't realize the man was actually their roommate. Startled by this reaction and not knowing why she was screaming, he cowered in a ball against the wall. He was terrified to look behind him, thinking there was someone behind him that prompted this shriek.
Finally, her brain registered that it was their roommate, and not a random stranger who broke into the house to kill her. She then started laughing at the situation. Their roommate couldn't figure out what was funny, but she was laughing too hard to explain. In confusion, he began looking through the house for the serial killer he still feared might be in the house.
The neighbors, who heard the deafening screams, hurried over to the house to investigate. My friend tried to tell them everything was fine, but they were unconvinced, and insisted on going through the house themselves to make sure that she was telling the truth.
Meanwhile, her mother, who had been forgotten in the chaos, was freaking out. All she knew was that her daughter suddenly screamed, then vanished. She called every family member she could, telling them that something was going on. My friend's uncle, who didn't have a car, somehow managed to secure a vehicle shortly after hearing about this, and hurried to the house.
Upon discovering the panic she had created in her mother, my friend called her mother, and spent about an hour trying to calm her down and assure her that it was just a false alarm. "I've never heard you scream like that." her mother said. "I never want to hear anything like that again!" 
When my friend's father heard about the string of events her ear-splitting scream caused, he told her, "Well, at least we know if anything actually happens to you, it won't go unnoticed."