Signs a Hotel is Bad

Most of us have stayed at hotels in our lives. Sometimes these stays are good, other times less so. Sometimes you get a hotel room, then leave an hour later because you value your life. Here are some indications that your hotel room may not be the best, to put it mildly.

1. It's called 'Hotel California' or 'Hotel Royale'.
2. It resembles a rather brief stay my mother and I had at what we now dub 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre Inn'.
3. When the hotel staff say "Don't let the bedbugs bite," they're not jesting.
4. The people there say things like "We are all just prisoners here of our own device," or "Relax, we are programmed to receive."
5. One of the appliances in your hotel room tries to kill you.
   
6. Your skull is convinced it's resting on a rock, not a pillow.
7. You wonder if your neck will be stiff and sore when you wake up tomorrow.
8. In the morning, you discover the bottoms of your feet are black from walking on the floor.
9. The hotel was the inspiration for a Stephen King novel.
10. Upon seeing you have a small blacklight on your keychain, the employee at the front desk starts looking very nervous and uncomfortable.
11. The bathtub drain looks more like a dark, yawning hole roughly cut into the bottom of the tub.