Sometimes my family will watch shows where people are looking for homes, or have their house renovated. At times, problems arise, either because of poor planning, unexpected problems, or the people on the show being impossible.
On every renovation ever, there are unexpected expenses. Doesn't matter if they have a contingency budget set aside for unexpected repairs. The unforeseen problem will cost way more. Asbestos? Mold? Water damage? Replacing the entire HVAC system?
If a homeowner says "There were leaks in the basement, but I fixed it," there's a 98% chance that the work crew will discover the basement is leaking at some point during renovation.
If there are camera scenes of heavy rain, there's a good chance that an unexpected expense involving water is about to appear. Flooding, leaky roof...
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| "Oh, look, honey! This room has a waterfall!" "That's... not supposed to be there." |
Sometimes there's people who want to find a new place, or have their current home worked on, and they're extremely unreasonable.
One woman shot down every idea the designer had for renovating her house. She wanted everything her way, and made it sound like everything was about her. "Oh, I don't care about the kitchen." Your son cooks a lot, and you make it sound like his wants are insignificant. Then she complained about the size of a bedroom, because "this queen needs a king-sized bed". At one point, I suggested that they solve the problem by having two houses: one for the kids, and one for her.
Or maybe the wife wants one thing, and the husband wants the exact opposite. They disagree on everything, and it'll be a miracle if they end up with a house they both like.
Or maybe the wife wants one thing, and the husband wants the exact opposite. They disagree on everything, and it'll be a miracle if they end up with a house they both like.
Then there's the instances when you simply don't like what the designers did, or the homeowners' tastes. One person complained because the designer changed the exterior color of the house. The old color makes the house look ugly as sin, but the homeowner said, "Why'd you change it?" Then there was an episode where the finished design included a fake rhino head on the wall. My mother said, "If the designer did that in my house, I would take it down first thing."
Another fun thing is when people tell the renovator or real estate agent after-the-fact, "Oh, by the way..." The designer got the wishlist, formulated a plan for how they were going to fix the house, but then the homeowner tells they want or don't want something. Or, as an afterthought, they notify the designer that there's a problem with the house, and then walk away. The faces I've seen people make when their clients throw a curveball... You can tell they're thinking, "You're kidding me, right?"
Oh, and bonus points if the people buying or renovating a home are fixated on a specific idea. It must be open concept and have at least eighty bedrooms. On one episode, the couple was obsessed with the finishes.
"It needs to have the right finishes."
"I don't like the finishes."
"Everything else about the house was nice, except the finishes, and that a deal-breaker."
Even more bonus points if they're fixated on something that makes the viewers at home roll their eyes. If we hear 'man cave' one more time... Who even came up with the term 'man cave'? Can I find a time machine, track down the person who coined the phrase, and prevent them from ever doing so?
And let's face it, sometimes the problem isn't that they need more space, it's just that they own too much junk. People complain that they don't have enough closet space. There's a camera shot of their current closet, and you see the problem immediately. The fool woman owns five hundred pairs of shoes, more outfits than a large clothing store, and then crammed some useless junk in there for good measure.
Another fun thing is when people tell the renovator or real estate agent after-the-fact, "Oh, by the way..." The designer got the wishlist, formulated a plan for how they were going to fix the house, but then the homeowner tells they want or don't want something. Or, as an afterthought, they notify the designer that there's a problem with the house, and then walk away. The faces I've seen people make when their clients throw a curveball... You can tell they're thinking, "You're kidding me, right?"
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| This is Hilary from 'Love It or List It' in so many episodes... |
Oh, and bonus points if the people buying or renovating a home are fixated on a specific idea. It must be open concept and have at least eighty bedrooms. On one episode, the couple was obsessed with the finishes.
"It needs to have the right finishes."
"I don't like the finishes."
"Everything else about the house was nice, except the finishes, and that a deal-breaker."
Even more bonus points if they're fixated on something that makes the viewers at home roll their eyes. If we hear 'man cave' one more time... Who even came up with the term 'man cave'? Can I find a time machine, track down the person who coined the phrase, and prevent them from ever doing so?
And let's face it, sometimes the problem isn't that they need more space, it's just that they own too much junk. People complain that they don't have enough closet space. There's a camera shot of their current closet, and you see the problem immediately. The fool woman owns five hundred pairs of shoes, more outfits than a large clothing store, and then crammed some useless junk in there for good measure.
Or how about when the crew is going to renovate a house, and they walk in to see something insane? I saw an episode where there were several different types of wallpaper in the house. Sometimes, it just varied on neighboring walls. It was lurid, it was ridiculous. Even the homeowners said they called it a funhouse, because of the crazy way it looked.
Now, for much of my growing up, my family lived in a rural area. As in, there weren't many restaurants and stores nearby, so we often drove for at least a half hour, maybe even a whole hour, to get groceries or eat at a restaurant.
Meanwhile, people on the TV shows are complaining because it's a ten-minute commute to work. Or they throw a fit because the house has to be in their neighborhood, even though there's virtually nothing there that matches what they want.
In fact, homeowners love to have wishlists with conflicting must-haves. It has to be four zillion square feet, but stay within their budget of three dollars. It has to be in the neighborhood, even though there's nothing in their current which matches what they want in a home.
Sometimes when watching these shows, I wonder what happens off-camera. At times, the clients have very different ideas of what they want, and occasionally one will make a decision without clearing it with their partner first. I theorize that a lot of couples argue once they're away from the film crew. "You just announce that you're decreasing the renovation budget? Shouldn't we have discussed this before you took twenty grand away from the designer?" I envision screaming matches, or miserable husbands getting the most brutal silent treatment ever. Like, the silence is deafening.
And ultimately, I'm sure the real estate agents and renovators have plenty to say about their clients. "Nothing I do will ever please them." "You won't believe this guy I'm dealing with. I want to strangle him." "Why did I choose a career that involves working with people? I hate people!"
Seriously, sometimes you can tell that people are trying to keep cool and not make a big scene, but internally, they want to throw a fit or rip somebody's head off. But then again, so do the viewers sometimes. And yet, we keep watching. Episode after episode, series after series... Oh shoot, when did we become addicted?
And be sure to check back for a new post next week, when we explore the exciting subject of... well, whatever Blogger draft I'm motivated to finish. It might be informative, it might be serious, it might be silly. I make no promises, only offer an intriguing mystery.
Now, for much of my growing up, my family lived in a rural area. As in, there weren't many restaurants and stores nearby, so we often drove for at least a half hour, maybe even a whole hour, to get groceries or eat at a restaurant.
Meanwhile, people on the TV shows are complaining because it's a ten-minute commute to work. Or they throw a fit because the house has to be in their neighborhood, even though there's virtually nothing there that matches what they want.
In fact, homeowners love to have wishlists with conflicting must-haves. It has to be four zillion square feet, but stay within their budget of three dollars. It has to be in the neighborhood, even though there's nothing in their current which matches what they want in a home.
Sometimes when watching these shows, I wonder what happens off-camera. At times, the clients have very different ideas of what they want, and occasionally one will make a decision without clearing it with their partner first. I theorize that a lot of couples argue once they're away from the film crew. "You just announce that you're decreasing the renovation budget? Shouldn't we have discussed this before you took twenty grand away from the designer?" I envision screaming matches, or miserable husbands getting the most brutal silent treatment ever. Like, the silence is deafening.
And ultimately, I'm sure the real estate agents and renovators have plenty to say about their clients. "Nothing I do will ever please them." "You won't believe this guy I'm dealing with. I want to strangle him." "Why did I choose a career that involves working with people? I hate people!"
Seriously, sometimes you can tell that people are trying to keep cool and not make a big scene, but internally, they want to throw a fit or rip somebody's head off. But then again, so do the viewers sometimes. And yet, we keep watching. Episode after episode, series after series... Oh shoot, when did we become addicted?
And be sure to check back for a new post next week, when we explore the exciting subject of... well, whatever Blogger draft I'm motivated to finish. It might be informative, it might be serious, it might be silly. I make no promises, only offer an intriguing mystery.
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