Amusing Things People Hear

Sometimes you hear the strangest, or the most amusing, things. Maybe you're in a conversation, and someone says something interesting. Or maybe you just overhear something while shopping or at a restaurant. Below is a compilation of some of these things.

"He snores so loudly, he can be heard throughout the house. And then sometimes there'll be a really long pause. You're lying in bed, thinking, 'Is he dead?' Then he'll finally snore, and everyone in the house can breathe again."

I was sitting at the library one day, and a couple of people were sitting behind me, having an interesting conversation.

"Why do you keep calling the character 'Nugget'?"

"Well, I couldn't remember the character's name, but I could remember 'Nugget', so..."

Later on, I heard this from them.

"We have to be out there in twenty minutes to be picked up."

"But by the time we get up, walk over to check out our books, and put on our coats, that'll be five minutes."

"So we should go soon."

(long pause)

"Well, here we sit."

I was at Costco, and some children were talking to an employee in the meat section.
Kids:  "How do you make it?"
Employee:  "Well, this guy cuts the meat, and then I package it."
Kids:  "But how do you make it?"
Employee:  (chuckling)  "'How do you make it'..."
Father:  "God makes it."

Woman:  "We'll go in together."

Child:  "What's 'together' mean?"

Woman:  "You know what 'together' means! What does 'together' mean?"

Child:  "Ppppbbbthhhh..."

Woman:  (amused) "That's not what 'together' means! I've never heard it mean that before."

A conversation someone overheard at the airport.

"Where's John?"

"He's still out chasing Pokemon. The plane's about to board, he's going to miss the flight."

"I can see it now: 'Dude, how'd you miss your flight?' 'Oh, I was chasing Pokemon around JFK.'"

"Nothing's worse than having money but no honey."
"I'd rather have the money."
"Money won't keep you warm when you're old."
"You know what you can buy with money? A coat."
"It won't keep your heart warm."
"You can buy a cat."

While volunteering at Vacation Bible School one year, this exchange occurred after the class had watched a video.
Teacher:  "Now, did any of you see the old man who had to be carried to the lake to be baptized?"

Class:  (nods)
Teacher:  "And does anyone remember how old he he was?"
Child:  (raises hand) "Thirteen."

During high school, this conversation happened.
Kid:  (mentions that the flesh in your mouth heals quickly)
Kid:  I wish my whole body was mouth flesh!

"We're at the shooting range, and I'm having trouble hitting the target. Meanwhile, my son is drawing pictures with the bullet holes. He's a really accurate shot. I'm afraid he'll end up being a sniper or something."
"They'll find a body with a smiley face drawn in bullet holes."