Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Serious Fantasy Characters

A young writer walks into a chaotic room filled with immature people laughing, trading witty banter, rough-housing, and throwing things.
"All right, guys, listen up. Hey, guys." the writer shouts.
The chaos continues, and she is forced to duck a flying toy.
The noise stops, and an unusual silence falls over the room as they stare at her.
"Okay, listen up. I want you all to be serious for a few minutes. There's a serious scene coming up, and it's important that you behave during it."
Everyone nods and murmurs agreement, too afraid of the cranky writer to dare offending her. After all, they remember what happened to some of the more unfortunate characters. 
"Good." the writer says. "Commence scene!"

"Is everything set up in the ball room?" the queen asked as she riffled through papers.
"They've almost completed it, milady."
"Good. This will be an important event, and I don't want any problems. You checked with the kitchen staff already?"
The man nodded. "Yes. They assured me they had plenty of supplies, and they're on schedule with the planning."
"Everything's running smoothly, then." the queen said as she left the room and headed down the hall, the man following. "For now, at least."
At that moment, a terrible scream sounded. "And it appears I've ruined it by mentioning it." she said, rushing down the hall towards the source of the sound.
One of the the servants burst out of a room, eyes wide and panicked. At the sight of the queen, he abruptly checked himself and halted. "My apologies, milady. There was a... slight incident."
"Slight?"  the queen said. "How 'slight'?"
"Well, uh, you see..." the man stammered, seeming unable to gather his thoughts.
Another man sauntered out of the room, the epitome of composure, much unlike his companion.
"Would somebody tell me what's going on?" the queen snapped.
"It was an arachnidus gargantuis, Your Majesty." the second man said with an amused grin.
"Arachnidus... Do you mean to tell me..."
The man nodded vigorously. "Aye, a cracking big spider."
The queen sighed. "Well, when it's something more serious than spiders, let me know."

The writer hits a button on her stopwatch. "And... fifty-four seconds! A new record!"

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