Saturday, September 30, 2017

How Extreme Introverts Make Friends

Introverts, socially-inept individuals, and socially-inept introvert hybrids alike wonder: what is the secret formula to meeting new people and making new friends? Well, let's see, how did we acquire our previous friends? (thinks a long while) Uh, I dunno, it just sort of happened. I think they adopted me, I'm not sure what I did right to make it happen.
Below is a guide to making friends if you're an introvert, shy, or just really socially awkward.

1. See people close to your age.
2. Want to talk to them.
3. Feel like wandering over would be akin to, "Hi, I'm a total stranger. Mind if I awkwardly and randomly butt in?"  
4. Stand there all by yourself even more awkwardly.
5. Make no progress.
6. Encounter people your age again.
7. You're determined to go over there this time.
8. Walk towards group and hover there silently, because you're a SUPER-AWESOME INTROVERT WITH YOUR SUPER-AWESOME ANTI-SOCIAL POWERS!!!
9. Group breaks up or you have to leave.
10. Make no progress.
11. Go online and chat with people you've never met and probably never will.
12. Live in a cave high in the mountains for the remainder of your life, muttering to yourself and talking to rocks.

Comic by Sarah Andersen- Find person you like talking to. Assume they dislike you and never contact them first. Die alone.

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