The Immortal John Bates

We all have characters we love. Take, for example, the popular television series 'Downton Abbey'. It's filled with lovable characters. So what do the writers do? Why, kill them off, of course. Millions of viewers have their hearts broken as wonderful people perish on the show, leaving other characters with broken hearts as well.

But fear not, dear Downton fans. There is one character who will never leave us. His name: John Bates. (spoilers ahead)

We've seen so much tragedy throughout the series. This tragedy has ended the lives of many a perfectly good character. Tragedy befalls Mr. Bates, too. Yet somehow, he's still breathing. How?

First off, he serves in the Boer War prior to the season 1 timeline. Though he acquires a leg injury, he leaves the war with beating heart. He also survives that medieval torture device which supposedly corrects limps (the actual results were not pretty). Later, it's revealed that he was convicted of a crime which he didn't commit, and of course he got through that, otherwise he wouldn't be here for season 1 at all.

Then, as though things aren't difficult enough, his wife commits suicide, but makes it look like murder. Accused of this crime, Bates is taken away to prison. They consider executing him, hanged from the neck until dead (they said it with such creepy glee), but decide against this, meaning Bates narrowly escapes with his life. Of  course, they plan to keep him in prison for the rest of that life. Luckily, new evidence is eventually found, and Bates is pronounced innocent.

So guess what? More misery, of course. His second wife, Anna, is accused of murdering Mr. Green and arrested. Desperate to free Anna, he writes letters confessing to killing Mr. Green (when in fact, he didn't), then goes into hiding. Again, they find evidence to prove he is actually not responsible for the death, so he avoids being arrested once more.

So what's my point here? Bates goes through a war, is arrested twice, threatened with execution, and other troubles, yet he emerges victorious. Therefore, one can only conclude that John Bates will never die. He is immortal, impervious to danger. How many other 'Downton Abbey' characters go through as much as he has, and live to tell the tale? Not many.

And with that, here is an image celebrating the great Mr. Bates. May he live long and prosper! (Well, of course he'll live long. He's Bates.)