The Never-ending Name

Learning new things is fun. Awhile back, I saw an unbelievably long word, and I'm sure the guy who typed it was laughing maniacally when he shared it with the online world. Now what is this word, you might ask? Certainly it couldn't be that long.

All right, then, here it is: Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

Now, you may wonder, what mastermind concocted this? Obviously they wanted to create a word that takes about three years to even say. Naturally, my curiosity got the better of me, so I looked it up. Wiktionary said it was "a village in Anglesey in North Wales, known for having the longest place name in the United Kingdom". The name is comprised of these words.

llan (“parish, church”)

Fair, soft mutation of Mair (“(saint) Mary”)

pwll (“pool”)

gwyn (“white”)

cyll (“hazel”)

go ger (“near about”)

y (“the”)

chwyrn (“fierce”)

drobwll, soft mutation of trobwll (“whirlpool”) (from troi “to turn”)

llan (“parish, church”)

Tysilio (“(saint) Tysilio”)

-g- (Welsh consonantal infix)

ogo (dialectal form of ogof “cave”)

coch (“red”)

All of this translates to "Saint Mary’s Church in the hollow of the white hazel near the rapid whirlpool and the Church of Saint Tysilio of the red cave". It still doesn't explain why anyone would make up such a long name, though. You'd think that at some point, they would have said, "Well, this is a good enough description, we're done!" But no, they kept stringing words together, until it became... well, the longest place name in the UK. And they probably laugh at the magnificently long word, especially if anyone who isn't familiar with Welsh dares try to pronounce it. (As a side note, the "ch" and "ll" in Welsh represent sounds not found in the English language, so many of you are doomed to fail anyway. I bet I would.)

On the other hand, English isn't much better with long words sometimes. Antidisestablishmentarianism, for example, which has twelve syllables. Consider the name for fear of long words, hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia, a fifteen-syllable word. Somebody was cackling evilly when they came up with that monster. That's a twisted sense of humor.

"Well, sir, it seems you have hippopotomonstro..."

"No, don't say it, doctor! Not that! NO!!!"

But if you're thinking, "Well, maybe it's not so bad, then," let me burst your bubble. While the enormous words I mentioned above have twelve or fifteen syllables, the place name Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch has nineteen syllables. Yes, nineteen.

Now, what must it be like to live there? Imagine you're five years old, and a nice grown-up asks, "So, where are you from?" With such a mouthful to say, it would be easy to forget or mix up parts of it. It might even be akin to that scene in "Finding Nemo", in which young Nemo tries to say what he lives in.

Or try sending and receiving mail. When writing Christmas cards, the return address will be so big it'll require extra postage. Even better, pick up the phone and try subscribing to a magazine, and see how well that turns out for you.

"So what's your address, sir?"

"Well, it might be better if I spell it out..." (rattles off 58 letters)

(long pause) "Excuse me?"

"I live in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. Would you like me to spell it again?"

"Thank you for wasting my time, sir. Good day to you."

"No, I'm serious! It's a real name, I swear!"

(click)

Realistically, the name is often shortened to Llanfairpwll or Llanfair PG. In fact, it was the original name until the 1800s. The considerably longer form was invented for promotional reasons. Obviously this feat worked, because it certainly gained people's attention.

And now, to close this insanely long blog post about insanely long words, here's a video to amuse you.