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Wednesday, October 3, 2018

Don't Do That

As a child, I was certain that the yard-duties' catchphrase was "You'll crack your head open!" For example, if the kids on the school playground were dismounting from the swings by jumping off while high in the air, you were sure to hear, "Don't do that, you could crack your head open!"
Such a phrase has the potential to bring vivid imagery to mind. Imagine your skull neatly split open, exposing the complex folds of the brain. Despite all the adults' warnings, however, guess what the kids kept doing? The same things they were told not to do, of course.

And that wasn't the only popular phrase uttered by grown-ups, either. When the rainy season arrived, the lands would spring to life. Everything would be green and lush. Tall grass grew on the hill next to the field, and there you could find ladybugs and other fun things. There, you could build a nest, then put balls into it and pretend they were dragon eggs. Since we were having so much fun, what did the yard-duties say? "Don't go into the tall grass, there might be snakes."
Well, we had yet to see a giant rattlesnake while playing in the tall grass, so of course we decided we were impervious to all, and went on hunting for ladybugs and waiting for our brood to hatch from their eggs.

When it rained a lot, there were puddles. Huge, glorious puddles. These were perfect to splash in, and we did so, jumping around, running through them, anything that satisfied the need for fun. Sure, the water got in our shoes, but oh well. They would dry eventually, right?
"You could catch cold." The grown-ups would once again say things to attempt ruining our fun. Obviously they meant that we shouldn't do it any more. But a child's mind thinks differently, and we interpreted that as, "Don't let the adults see you jumping in puddles."
Now that I think about it, we were all doomed anyway, regardless of how wet our feet got. In elementary school, you spend six or seven hours a day, five days each week, surrounded by dozens of coughing, sniffling, runny-nosed individuals. Grade-school students are notorious for catching everything from the common cold, flu, pinkeye, or the black plague. And as their families can attest, they then bring it home and infect the rest of their clan.

"Don't let the adults catch you" was a common adage for just about anything you weren't supposed to do, really. The backyard at my neighbors' house wan't fenced, and father down the property, there were tall weeds growing everywhere. My friend and I wanted to explore this, and tried to wander in that direction. Cue the "You'll be bitten by a rattler" speech. Once the grown-ups saw us heading that way, they would call us back, and perhaps scold us, for after all, we'd only heard this "Don't go into the weeds, don't stray too far from the house" instruction a billion times before.
What did we do with this lecture? Why, we decided we would attempt going deeper into the wilds of rural land when we thought the adults weren't watching. I'm sure the adults entertained thoughts of keeping us on leashes, or putting us in the dog kennel instead of the terrier.



As you can see, children are very well-behaved individuals, never testing their limits and always listening to what they're told. They don't draw all over a worksheet after being told not to, they don't throw away the carrot sticks in their lunch and only eat the Cheetos and cupcake, they don't bounce on the bed, or climb a tree when they could fall and break their arm or leg (or crack their head open).
But I guess that's life, I suppose. When you're a kid, you always do stuff you're not supposed to because it's dangerous or just a bad idea in general. Sometimes things go wrong and you learn from your folly, and other times you continue doing it. Or in some cases, no ill fortune befalls you at all.

So what are some things you did as a kid that in hindsight may not have been the best choices?

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