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Wednesday, October 24, 2018

How To Survive a Horror or Action Movie

Most of us have seen some sort of action or horror film. Whether serious or spoof, serious or not, most of us know at least a bit about them. Based on observations of various movies, both believable and campy, here are some tips on how to increase your chance of survival in horror or action movies.

  1. Do not split up. There's safety in numbers. Once you're on your own, the serial killer or mutant creature will pick you off.
  2. Don't scream and act all girly.
  3. Avoid going into the water, the woods, a cave, any place where you can't see much of anything, etc.
  4. In fact, don't even be near water, caves, etc. Otherwise, when giving a concert, a shark will leap out of the ocean, eat you, and go back into the water, all in one swift move. Oh, and the screaming fangirls will be drenched in blood.
  5. Don't have a ridiculously low IQ. Viewers cheer when the airhead dies. I know I do.
  6. Don't be an evil antagonist, or mean/unlikable in general.
  7. Even if you're heartbroken, don't say you wish you were dead, or anything of that nature. That's how the swimsuit-clad girl got eaten.

1 comment:

  1. This is pretty accurate to most horror movies especially, at least from I know! Definitely a good and funny list! :D

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