When looking at places from centuries ago, there seems to be a recurring theme. For example, I was reading articles and looking at pictures of old castles, and found some excellent Death Stairs. These delightful creations are often steep, narrow, or just really long.
And that got me thinking. In old stories, they talk about knights being strong and swift, not easily tiring. Well, they'd have to be, in order to survive going up and down those stairs all the time. One could get an excellent workout just going through the castle.
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| Conwy Castle in Wales, built in late 1200s. |
And that got me thinking. In old stories, they talk about knights being strong and swift, not easily tiring. Well, they'd have to be, in order to survive going up and down those stairs all the time. One could get an excellent workout just going through the castle.
This, of course, invites some excellent imagery. Like King Arthur lying in the middle of a steep, winding staircase in one of the towers, gasping for breath.
"We're almost there, sir. Only nine thousand more steps to go."
"May you be eaten by a dragon on your next quest."
But seriously. After traversing hundreds of steps, anyone's muscles would be burning, their lungs aching. "Why... haven't... motorized... elevators... been... invented... yet?" the king says between labored breaths. Towards the end, poor Arthur is crawling up the stairs on his hands and knees, cursing the fool who thought of this.
"Er, it was your idea, sir. You said that no enemy would be able to take over the castle, because they would die going up the stairs to breach our defenses."
Collapsing upon the unyielding stone steps, Arthur groans. What was he thinking when he came up with such a ludicrous idea, he wonders. "Bring Merlin here. Perhaps he can invent a spell which will levitate people to where they need to go, and eliminate the need for these infernal steps altogether."
Since then, legends abound about the flying people of Great Britain. People from other lands feared them, these strange and mysterious people who flew through the air. Though some historians debate the legitimacy of these stories, this ability played a large part in their success during battle. The sight of Arthur's knights levitating would strike terror in their foes, often sending them running for their lives.
The wisdom of King Arthur and Merlin in this matter was greatly revered. It allowed people to move throughout the castles quickly, cut down on ladder-related casualties and deaths, and simplified travel in steep, rocky areas. Arthur later came up with the idea of using this trick in battle to intimidate enemies.
Said enemies weren't as thrilled, however. There's a tale of an attack upon King Arthur's fortress, when thousands had the castle surrounded. Arthur's forces were vastly outnumbered, and the king knew there was no chance of winning in combat. Their foes were certain of their success, and ran into the castle. Arthur, resourceful man he was, had Merlin levitate their people to the highest parts of the castle, and there they waited. It was said that the majority of the invading troops perished from exhaustion as they traversed the billions of steep, merciless steps. Safe in his tower, King Arthur only laughed and casually sharpened his sword as he waited for the few half-dead stragglers to arrive to attempt killing the mighty leader. They were quickly slain, and in other parts of the castle, other brave but weary soldiers suffered the same fate, some too tired to even lift their shields to defend themselves as Arthur's knights swung their tempered blades.
And now you know. Those steep, winding staircases found in so many castles served an important purpose in defense. The level of misery varied depending on whether said fortress had wizards to levitate people (not all had such a luxury), and some knights had to rely on being exceptionally fit.
The wisdom of King Arthur and Merlin in this matter was greatly revered. It allowed people to move throughout the castles quickly, cut down on ladder-related casualties and deaths, and simplified travel in steep, rocky areas. Arthur later came up with the idea of using this trick in battle to intimidate enemies.
Said enemies weren't as thrilled, however. There's a tale of an attack upon King Arthur's fortress, when thousands had the castle surrounded. Arthur's forces were vastly outnumbered, and the king knew there was no chance of winning in combat. Their foes were certain of their success, and ran into the castle. Arthur, resourceful man he was, had Merlin levitate their people to the highest parts of the castle, and there they waited. It was said that the majority of the invading troops perished from exhaustion as they traversed the billions of steep, merciless steps. Safe in his tower, King Arthur only laughed and casually sharpened his sword as he waited for the few half-dead stragglers to arrive to attempt killing the mighty leader. They were quickly slain, and in other parts of the castle, other brave but weary soldiers suffered the same fate, some too tired to even lift their shields to defend themselves as Arthur's knights swung their tempered blades.
And now you know. Those steep, winding staircases found in so many castles served an important purpose in defense. The level of misery varied depending on whether said fortress had wizards to levitate people (not all had such a luxury), and some knights had to rely on being exceptionally fit.
So next time you're visiting a castle or other such old structure, take a moment to appreciate the agony in your calf muscles and lungs. Remember, ingenious design went into it, ideas which influenced history as we know it today.
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