How To Make a Doctor's Appointment

Many of us have made an appointment with the doctor, dentist, or other such thing in the past. And with some of these, you have to suffer through automated services that take forever to finish talking, being put on hold, or aggravating questions. Below are step-by-step directions illustrating the frustrating process of making a simple doctor's appointment.

1. Call office.
2. Listen to absurdly long monologue. "If this is an emergency, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room." This followed by a run-down on what number you called, what they do, the history of their business, and the Gettysburg Address. 
3. Go through never-ending description of "For this, press one. For this, press two. For this..."
4. Hear, "Your call is important to us. Now please hold, while we play music."
5. Listen to the on-hold soundtrack for what feels like a year. (it was only a few minutes)
6. Feel like your call is not important to them, and hang up. You can try again later.
7. Repeat.
8. Call and decide you're going to stay on hold, even if it takes an hour for them to pick up.
9. After five minutes, get forwarded to voicemail.
10. Try calling again, only to get same result.
11. Leave message, feeling like nobody works in the infernal place.
12. Get called back, and they ask, "So what are you making this appointment for?" They sent you mail reminding me to make an appointment, and should have all the information in the computer. Yet here they are, asking you.
13. Finish scheduling appointment and hang up.
14. Have hold music stuck in your head for the rest of the day.