Wednesday, December 27, 2017

When You're Tired or Distracted

We do a lot of strange things when we're tired or preoccupied, some of them rather interesting. Our scatter-brained tendencies cause some situations worthy of a stand-up comedy routine or TV sitcom. Below are a few examples of this.

Brother: "Do you want to keep that?"
Mom: "No, I'm going to keep it."
Mom: (realizes what she just said, starts laughing hysterically)

Mom: "Oh, no."
Us: "What?"
Mom: "Where are my glasses?"
Us: "They're on your face, Mom."

Once in a story I was writing, a woman came in and set the door on the counter, and the girl was too afraid to sit down on the cough. That clued me in that perhaps it was about time I went to bed.

Getting ready for bed, and starting to set kitchen timer instead of alarm. What am I doing...
We won't mention how late it was in her time zone.

I had a friend over for a sleepover when I was a kid. I was lying in bed, and she was on the floor. At one point, she got into bed beside me. I didn't think that much of it, and went to sleep.
Later on, she woke me up, and asked, "Why am I in your bed?"
"You crawled in here a while ago." I replied.
"I did?" she said. She had no memory of this; apparently, she wasn't awake when she got into my bed.

Me at 11:49 P.M.: "...and instead it ends up looking garish and overdone instead."

Mom: "You haven't tried the cupcake?"
Me: (on the computer) "No, I haven't clicked on it yet."

I called a friend once, and she had just returned from a trip and was exhausted. She would say things, then forget she had said them and repeat it later. She invited me to come over later multiple times, and each time forgot she had done it. At one point, she stopped responding to me. I called her name fruitlessly, but it was several minutes before she woke up.
"Why don't I call you back later?" I suggested.
She agreed, and we talked later. When we did, she didn't recall half of what she had said in our prior conversation.
Oh, and she invited me over to her house again.

Me: "So I'll use the hexadecimal code #AFEEEE as the color."
Me: "#AFEEEE sounds really funny. Afeeee! Afeeeeee!"

Mom:  (hands me water bottle)
Me:  (puts it in the van)
(minutes later)
Mom:  (looking in the storage unit) "Where's my water?"
Me:  "Uh, you handed it to me."
Mom:  "And where's my purse?"
Me:  "You're wearing it."

After a long day of rearranging stuff in the storage unit and breathing in about three tons of dust, I went into a locksmith store to buy a lock for the U-Haul.
"I need an, uh..." I searched my brain for the word. "A lock. A deadbolt."
"Oh." said the woman behind the counter. "Is it for a front door on a house, or..."
"No, not that kind of lock. I need one for locking up a trailer."
"A padlock?"
"...Yeah. That."

I accidentally used anti-itch cream to brush my teeth, then tried to rinse out the taste with expired mouthwash.
Nichole on Twitter.

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