Wednesday, July 12, 2017

It Doesn't Exist

Here's a terrific fun fact for today.

Germans have a running gag where they pretend the town of Bielefeld does not exist. Even when Angela Merkel talked about a meeting she had in Bielefeld, she added, "...if it even exists at all." Bielefeld released a statement insisting their existence, but unknowingly published it on April 1st.

This, of course, brings up all sorts of philosophical questions. Why keep Bielefeld a secret? Is there a secret Area 51 they want no one to know about? Is it a town made entirely of gelatin, and they didn't want the public to learn about it, lest they eat it all and the town be no more? Or is it a hoax, and they're claiming this mythical place is actually real?

And if this place truly does exist, how would you get there? To protect it from sci-fi nerds and jelly-loving freaks, it wouldn't be listed on any map, or on the GPS. You could stop and ask for directions, but how do you get directions to a place that isn't real? People would just laugh in your face, much in the same way they do when you ask how to get to Atlantis or where Lilo and Stitch live.
Better yet, how do you send a package to somebody who lives in Bielefeld? You carefully address the gift to your friend, then send it out. Days later, the package appears at your doorstep again. "Return to Sender- No Such Address". The same problem would happen if you lived in Bielefeld and ordered something. "Sorry, that's not a valid mailing address, so we can't send the battery-operated automatic cheese grater." And that was so important, too.

But, of course, these are just "what if" scenarios. After all, Bielefeld is a fictional town, something brought up in jokes and fantasy novels. Being as it isn't a real place, we have to settle for living in boring reality.
So.. until next time, folks. (rides away on Falkor the luck dragon)


Riding Falkor


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