Being Left-Handed

Ah, the realm of the left-handed humans, the southpaws, the awesome. The people who use the correct hand for tasks like holding a pencil, hammering a nail, petting a cute dog, and playing an instrument. I don't know what all those other people are thinking. I keep telling Mom she's doing things wrong, but she insists on using her right hand...
Anyway, here are a few realities, both good and bad, of being left-handed.

You'll notice every left-handed person you see.

Hey, the waitress is left-handed! Hey, Tim Allen is left-handed! Pink is left-handed! And on, and on, and on. It's like a bizarre superpower of observation.

David Cook playing the guitar left-handed.

Whatever you write with is automatically on your hand.

Your natural tendency is to rest your hand on the surface you're writing on. If you're left-handed, that means dragging your hand through what you just wrote. Unless it's a language that writes right-to-left, I guess. I wonder if right-handed people suffer when writing that way.

(finishes essay for school)
(has to wash hands)

Whiteboards are evil.

Again, you want to rest your hand when writing or drawing. With dry-erase markers, this doesn't work well. So you're holding your hand at an awkward angle, or trying not to rest it on the board at all. And then your handwriting isn't as good, which is even worse if your handwriting wasn't that pretty to begin with.

You hate those scissors that aren't designed to be ambidextrous.

Because every time you pick up a pair of those scissors, they will undoubtedly be the right-handed ones. And they never work with the left hand. Just like left-handed scissors don't work with the right hand. The end result is a lot of frustrated people who can't cut a piece of paper. Ah, arts and crafts are so relaxing, don't you think?

For right-handed individuals only. All others must suffer.

Dueling elbows.

The majority of the population is right-handed, and when they're sitting on your left side, dueling elbows occur. Bumping into each other during a meal is a constant occurrence. Ah well, both of you wanted to awkwardly cut your meat, trying not to crash into each other with every move, right? En garde!