Monday, October 26, 2015

Motivations to Exercise

For many people, playing a video game or staring at the television while eating chips is preferable to physical exertion. In this post, I've compiled a list of things which can motivate even the couch potato to exercise.

  1. A bug falls off the ceiling or other high place and is hurtling straight toward you. This causes you to scream bloody murder and run at four thousand miles an hour while brushing yourself off in fear that the bug is on you.
  2. You hear an ice cream truck going by, and must hurry so you can stop the truck and get your frozen treat.
  3. The P.E. teacher says that if you don't complete the mile run in a certain amount of time, bad things will happen to you, such as getting a failing grade in P.E. class and having to retake it next year, which means more physical exertion in the blazing sun.
  4. You accidentally hit something in a tree that buzzes angrily and turns into a horde of mutant ninja hornets.
  5. You sit down on a log, only to discover it's actually a crocodile.
  6. The school bully is heading your way with an unpleasant expression of evil delight on their face.
  7. Someone yells, "Duck!", "Watch out!", or another similar heart-stopping phrase.
  8. Your mother is looking for you so she can give you an insanely long list of chores, and the only way to escape is to leap over the fence of the backyard to give the impression that you're nowhere around.
  9. A limited supply of your favorite candy is at the store, and you must get there to buy some before the neighborhood kids do.
  10. In a moment of rashness, you make a smart remark to your worst enemy, and their expression rivals that of Severus Snape when he's angry.
  11. You discover a baby rattlesnake nearby, shaking its tail threateningly.
  12. Your doctor says that you need a shot, then pulls out a hypodermic needle longer than his arm.
  13. Not playing attention to where you were going, you step on the tail of an ill-tempered cat.
  14. You made the mistake of watching the late-night horror flicks, and now there are gigantic, genetically engineered velociraptor zombies lurking in your house.
  15. Someone yells, "Look what I found!" and runs toward you with a lovely bouquet of poison oak.
  16. You suddenly realize that you're standing on a fire ant hill.
  17. A mad scientist enters the store and says he's looking for meat to feed the monster he's just created, then starts to look at you funny.
  18. You fall into the water, then notice three alligators and a school of barracudas heading your way.
  19. You sit down, only to discover that someone put a tack there.
  20. The zoo recently lost a Bengal tiger, and you just found it in your front yard, using Fido's leg bone as a toothpick.
  21. Scientists have finally brought dinosaurs to life, then accidentally let a tyrannosaurus rex loose in your town.
  22. After explaining how the zip line works, the instructor turns toward the group, looks straight at you, and says, "How would you like to try it?"

No comments:

Post a Comment