Do you hate doing dishes and laundry? Would you rather die than deal with socks and cereal bowls? Today, I'll be providing you with tips on how to deal with those unfortunate chores.
- Shoot them into space. Hope that NASA won't notice the stockpots and spatulas orbiting Earth.
- Set the laundry on fire. (Unfortunately, this won't work well with dishes, which generally don't burn.)
- Mail them to someone you hate.
- Sell the dishes to someone doing target practice. Can also work with laundry if it's stiff enough with encrusted dirt.
- Bury them in a landfill in Alamogordo, New Mexico.
- Build a trebuchet and shoot them into the yard of that annoying neighbor who blasts music and yells at all hours of the night.
- Put the laundry in a compost bin. (Again, does not apply to dishes, which typically don't biodegrade.)
- Tell people the piles of clothing and frying pans are abstract art.
- Move away when the house gets too full of grease-covered pans, grungy forks, and smelly t-shirts.
- Change your name and get plastic surgery to alter your appearance so the dishes and laundry won't find you.
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