How to Avoid Dishes and Laundry

Do you hate doing dishes and laundry? Would you rather die than deal with socks and cereal bowls? Today, I'll be providing you with tips on how to deal with those unfortunate chores.

 

Get Off My Lawn

When my brother was in school, for a while he would walk to and from there. At one house along the way, there was an elderly man who would always yell at the passing kids to stay off of his lawn. The kids were killing the grass by walking on it, he complained.

In fact, he was so annoyed by the prospect of someone stepping on his beloved lawn, that he started standing outside to better keep watch on the passing students. And, my brother said, you could tell where the man usually stood during his sentry duty.

...Because there were two big patches of dead grass there. Apparently the irony was lost on this person.