Dumb Ways I've Been Injured

I've seen lots of threads on social media and forums, asking people to relay some of the dumbest and strangest ways they've been injured. So, I thought I'd make a post dedicated to all the lame ways I've been maimed. (Usually as a result of me being foolish.)

At one point in my childhood, I had these slip-on shoes. They didn't really have a back to them, so they didn't stay on my feet very well.
One day at school, we were outside, and my class was waiting for me. I was trying to hurry back, and made the foolish mistake of trying to run in the accursed shoes. One of the shoes flew off my foot, and down I went. On the rough, hard, unforgiving blacktop. I scraped my hands and both knees, tearing my trousers as well. And that was along with skinning my forehead and the bridge of my nose.
I wound up going home early that day. And I don't think I ever wore those shoes again.

As a kid, I once gave my mother a nosekiss, then decided to be funny and keep moving my head from side to side as I walked away. However, I couldn't navigate well while doing that, so I ran into a cabinet.

I'm convinced I have weak shoulder joints. Especially the right one. It feels like the shoulder blade pops back in a weird way, or something. I don't know which causes the brunt of the pain when I do that: the actual problem, or my automatic reflex to pull my shoulder forward again. Most recently, I was transporting stuff to and from the van, and kept closing the back hatch with one hand because I was carrying stuff in the other hand. After foolishly doing that a few times, I managed to hurt my shoulder again, and it was stuff and sore for a few days.

There was a ramp outside my old church that I used to run down. One day after I got out of Bible study, I was racing down the ramp when I misstepped and turned my ankle. But by then, I had too much inertia to stop immediately, so I was basically slamming my ankle down repeatedly with each step.
"I'm fine, I'm okay," I told everyone who had seen my disastrous descent, despite my vision being obscured with purple-blue spots. Bible study was just ending, so I sat down on some steps and waited for my friend and her mother to come out, since they were driving me home that day. As we walked to the car, I had my hand on my friend's shoulder, hoping to be inconspicuous about the fact that I was basically using her to steady myself, because I was still kind of woozy. My head didn't clear until I got in the car, where I had a head and backrest.
I limped for days afterwards, and having my ankle in certain positions was uncomfortable for a while.

This one didn't really cause injury, but it did hurt. In landscaping class, there was a great big thistle. I thought to myself, "Well, I have thick gloves, so I can pull it."
I was wrong. I was apparently in the perfect spot, though, because my cry of "OW" echoed off the school buildings. But the end result was, the thistle won. It remained in the ground, to grow a hundred feet tall and mock me forever.

I've also managed to get hurt by simply lacking hand-eye coordination. During P.E. in junior high, I failed to catch a frisbee and it hit me in the nose, giving me a bloody nose. Then in my senior year of high school, we were playing softball in P.E., and the not-at-all-soft softball hit me in the mouth. Probably didn't help that I had braces at the time. I got a bit of a bloody mouth from that.
Let's face it, physical education doesn't agree with me.

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So, those are some of the brilliant ways I've managed to get hurt. And check in next week, because I'll be writing stories about how other people have been injured from weird or ridiculous things.