Evil Things Restaurants Do

Restaurants are awesome. They serve food. I mean, unless you happen upon a bad place, such as McDonald's. (people come out of the woodwork to argue with this statement)
Anyway, whether good or bad, there's still a few evil things restaurants are sometimes found guilty of. Like having the wrong brand of saltine crackers, for example.... (narrows eyes) Below is a list of these things.

1. Giving you butter straight from the fridge, so that you mangle your bread trying to spread the unyielding chunk.
2. Chinese restaurants provide no knives. Then you order broccoli, and they give you huge pieces that couldn't fit in your mouth without taking multiple bites.
3. The constant problem of taking a huge bite of food, and the server appears at that moment to ask you a question. "Do you want anything else?" "Mmgph." "No? Okay." "Mmmggghhh! Mmmhh rrr!"
4. When they serve Coke instead of Pepsi, or when they tell you, "Sorry, we don't have saltines, only oyster crackers." I wanted saltines... (sniff, sob)
5. Serving huge portions of really delicious food, which you eagerly devour. Once you're so stuffed you can't move, the waitress tempts you by asking if you want dessert.
   
6. Offering bread bowls like they're a luxury, when in reality, you get less soup when it's in a bread bowl.
7. When they make clam chowder every Friday, but you don't like clam chowder and would rather have cream of asparagus.
8. Once, a restaurant had asparagus soup, but it turned out to be a big bowl of revolting asparagus acid instead.
9. The messier the food, the more pathetic their napkins are. You're eating a pulled pork sandwich and getting barbecue sauce all over you, and the napkins are about as strong as the tissue paper you fill a gift bag with.
10. "Sorry, we don't have shakes here." My heart breaks every time this is announced.
11. You're travelling and staying at a hotel. You order food that requires silverware, and the takeout arrives without plastic utensils. Then you wind up eating cheesecake with the little straws by the single-serve coffeepot.