Monday, November 2, 2015

How to Tell if You're Not Athletic

Some people are better at sports and other strenuous activities than others. While there are those who can run ten miles and juggle fifty objects at once, others struggle with the simplest of tasks. Here are some ways to tell if you're destined not to be an athlete.

  1. You duck because something was flying toward your head, but it turns out to be the shadow of a ball that is ten feet away from you.
  2. You're crouching at the start line for track tryouts, but when the high school coach blows the whistle for everyone to start running, you slip on the dirt and face-plant.
  3. You struggle with a three-pound dumbbell.
  4. You tried to learn how to jump rope, but became hopelessly tangled up, and it took four people to finally free you.
  5. You reach up to catch the frisbee, but it collides with your face instead, leaving you with a bloody nose.
  6. You find yourself out of breath during P.E., and it was just the warm-up before the actual activity.
  7. You have a phobia of someday being killed by an airborne football.
  8. Your most embarrassing moment was when you got onto the treadmill, and it started at maximum speed when you turned it on, causing you to fly across the room and smash through a window.
  9. You can relate to Charlie Brown when he strikes out in baseball for the umpteenth time in his life.
  10. When playing sports, you often score points for the other team by mistake.
  11. Your friend bought you a tennis racket for your birthday, and you thought it was a cheese grater.

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