- Walk around the house and suddenly feel a stabbing pain.
- Find a scorpion in the region you were walking, lying flat on the floor to divert suspicion.
- Pick up a shoe and smash the offending creature, then clean up the remains.
- Wash hands to remove any traces of arachnid guts.
- Dry hands on a terry cloth scorpion.
- Repeat steps 3 and 4, then use a safe hand towel.
- Search every nook and cranny of the house for more scorpions.
- Satisfied that you're safe, lie down on the couch or bed.
- Be stabbed in the face by a pillow.
- Repeat steps 3 and 4, grumbling all the while.
- Go to bed, your dreams plagued by giant scorpions with glowing red eyes.
- Wake up and get dressed.
- Scream in agony and throw shirt across the room.
- Repeat steps 3 and 4.
- Fantasize about living in the Arctic Circle, where it's too cold for scorpions to thrive.
- If you didn't move to a scorpion-free region, start over at step 1.
Wednesday, June 28, 2017
Enclosed are directions for living in an area plagued by scorpions.
Wednesday, June 14, 2017
As I'm writing, I sometimes find myself removing scenes or bits of dialogue because they don't work there. If it's a really nice excerpt, however, I save it onto a separate file in case I find a use for it later. Other times, I do the reverse. I'll have a great idea of for a scene or dialogue, but nowhere to put it at the time. So I create a file for this occasion, and I can refer to it later.
Naturally, I have to think of a name to remind me of what the file contains. This has led to some interesting file names, some of which are amusing or just plain weird. Enjoy the following list.
- annoying guy
- banister of temptation
- If Jack is late again
- insolent prince
- Jacob the grim reaper
- Orinth vs Snake
- rose bush of pain
- secret eagle
- yelling at Brendon (again)
- Yelling at Jaceo
Admittedly, many of the excerpts contained in those files have humor value. And admittedly, sometimes I get goofy and try to invent a comical name. But yes, I am strange and somewhat crazy. And what can I say? File names like these make life more interesting.