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Wednesday, September 24, 2025

How to Fold a Fitted Sheet

Let's face it, folding fitted sheets is a miserable process. When they're brand new and still in the package, they look perfect. They're totally flat, completely smooth, not a wrinkle or a bulge in sight. But once you take them out of that package and unfold them, you will never see them look that good ever again. I mean, unless you're some sort of laundry-folding savant, which, let's face it, most of us aren't. Below is a description of what folding a fitted sheet is generally like.

Instructions of Folding Fitted Sheets- 1. Hold the sheet by the top corners and fold together. 2. Fold sheet in half, meeting the top and bottom corners. 3. Uhh... 4. Stack other linens on top and pretend nothing happened.

  1. Procrastinate putting away the laundry, taking clothes from the basket as needed.
  2. After about a week, dump the remainder of the laundry on your bed so you're forced to put it away.
  3. Fold and put away all the clothes.
  4. Do the same with the regular sheets.
  5. Moan and groan about the stupid fitted sheet you've been avoiding.
  6. If you're a Catholic, pray to the patron saint of laundry-folding.
  7. Is there even a patron saint of laundry? Panic.
  8. Grudgingly pull the jumble of misery towards you. Try to untwist it somewhat.
  9. Attempt to find the corners. Get annoyed because you're certain they're hiding from you on purpose.
  10. Worry that you'll lose the corners on the first end while you're working on finding the corners of the other end. Wind up with a mouthful of cotton because you're paranoid.
  11. After getting all the corners found, discover the fitted sheet is twisted in some way. Try to straighten it out while obsessing over keeping the ends together.
  12. Once the fitted sheet is arranged in some vague semblance of order, begin folding. Do your best to ignore the fact that parts of it look horrible.
  13. Put fitted sheet away and pretend it's as neat-looking as the other sheets.
  14. Write a ridiculous blog post about how annoying it is to fold fitted sheets. 
Pickles comic strip by Brian Crane- Opal asks her husband, Earl, to fold some sheets for her. Earl picks up a fitted sheet and stares in confusion. 'How the heck do you fold a fitted queen-size bedsheet?' Later, he returns to Opal, who asks, 'Did you get those sheets folded?' Earl replies, 'Yes, if you'll accept them in the form of a ball.'

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