Here's a random thought and something to chew on. If you really think about it, a lot of romance plots actually have some pretty big flaws. Unhealthy relationships, the love interests making poor choices...
We don't often think about the issues with some of the fictionalized relationships we come across. But when we look more closely, we realize these romances aren't as great as they seem.
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| Our relationship is founded on deception and an utter lack of communication, but we're the perfect couple. |
The 'Twilight' saga by Stephanie Meyer is a paranormal romance between a vampire and a mortal human. The story shows Bella and Edward falling deeply, passionately in love with each other. They want to spend the rest of their lives together, would die for each other, etc. The book series was hugely popular, and was adapted into films. For a while, it was a major trend, with everyone swooning over the male love interests.
At the same time, the relationship isn't without its flaws. Edward is kind of controlling at times. When Bella wants to visit her friend Jacob, he says it's too dangerous, because the werewolves are unpredictable, and he tries to prevent her form going to the reservation. He argues that "he can't protect her there, because of the treaty". But it's kind of a double standard in a way. I mean, he's a dangerous vampire, and his family are dangerous vampires.
And early in the storyline, Edward apparently sneaked into Bella's room and watched her sleep. The action is often looked at as an early sign of how he was drawn to her. But looking at it another way, it's basically some random dude sneaking into someone else's house unannounced, and being kind of creepy and stalkerish.
A lot of romantic comedies also have flawed relationships. One example is the movie '27 Dresses'. The girl forgets her pocketbook in the cab. The guy who was also in the taxi is about to tell the driver to turn back, but then he changes his mind, and instead starts looking through her planner. (Violation of her privacy there.) After seeing her busy schedule, and having heard a bit about her life before she left the cab, he decides to write an article about how she's been a bridesmaid so many times.
When the planner is returned to her, she finds that he wrote his name and contact info in huge letters on multiple pages, written himself into her schedule about a billion times, and conveniently cleared her schedule for the next week or two by removing those pages altogether. If a guy did that to me, I would be majorly annoyed and want nothing to do with him. "Thank you for vandalizing my planner, now go away forever."
And the article he planned to write was going to paint her in an bad light. It was only after spending more time with her and getting to know her that he became reluctant to publish the disparaging article. So prior to them starting to fall for each other, the guy did a few lousy things.
With stories like these, people tend to focus on the romance aspect of it, and don't take the character flaws too seriously. In fiction, you're sometimes more forgiving of things which would bother you more in real life. Sort of like people enjoy action movies and like some of the characters, but they might not feel comfortable if they were actually around someone like Mr. Murder-and-Gratuitous-Violence. I mean, he once killed three men with just a pencil. A pencil. Not a guy you want to anger. (Plus, you don't want to be there when his enemies catch up with him and bullets are flying in all directions.)
Of course, there are times when I just want to see a healthy relationship depicted, something which doesn't always happen in stories. Drama and bad choices are in the stories because it creates conflict, sure. But conflict can be created without the characters being stupid. Too many romance stories base the conflicts on the love interests' poor judgment and behavior. In some extreme cases, ridiculous drama is randomly created for no plot-relevant reason, and only makes the characters look bad, and more difficult to respect as a result.
Sometimes the stories involve a redemption arc, with the characters becoming better people upon falling in love. But if it was me, I'd be hesitant to trust the person after some of the stuff they pulled. I definitely wouldn't get far if placed in a romance film, because I'd be completely done with the guy's garbage within the first twenty minutes.
Really, a lot of romance stories have crucial plot points that rely upon characters making crummy choices, such as lying and manipulation. They act immature, there's some sort of big drama. It doesn't make for people you feel you can truly trust, a solid foundation to build a relationship on. I'd rather see strong, compelling relationships where the people involved are always there for each other, respect each other, and treat each other well.
So what instances of unhealthy relationships have you seen depicted in media? Or the inverse, where a fictional relationship was done really well? Let me know in the comments.
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