Friday, November 18, 2016

Car-Chasing Canine

When my mother was a child, her family had a German Shepherd named Tony. He loved chasing cars, which drove my grandmother crazy. She tried to teach him not to chase cars, but she wasn't having much success.
At one point, someone suggested attaching a long wooden board to his collar. It would get in the way when the dog tried to run, they explained, and the problem would be solved. My grandmother tried this method. When cars came by, Tony gave an expert flip of his head, and the board fell across his back. With the board out of his way, he continued running after passing vehicles.
One day, my grandmother was fed up with it. In anger, she was yelling at Tony and hitting him with a rolled-up newspaper.Tony lay there stoically as she hit him again and again, Then, seeming to decide he was tired of being hit on that side, he rolled over and offered his other side to my grandmother. She couldn't hit much more after that; she was laughing too hard to scold him.
From then on, all my grandmother had to do was pick up a tiny scrap of paper or even a Kleenex, say "Tony!" and the dog would go slinking off, knowing he was in trouble.

Friday, November 11, 2016

Wet Suit

A guy went on a trip to the beach. He rented out a wet suit, grabbed his surfboard, and headed down the crowded street to the beach.
When he got there, he was on his way towards the water when he heard some girls giggling behind him. He also noticed a rather unnerving breeze.
"Hey dude," his friend said, "you've got a tear in your wet suit."
"Yeah, I was just starting to figure that out." the man replied.
Holding his surfboard behind him to cover the tear, he proceeded to walk down the street again and stop by the rental shop for a different wet suit.
"And what I don't understand," he remarked later, "is why no one on that crowded street bothered to mention the hole in the seat of the wet suit."