Thursday, July 28, 2016

Desperate Climb

Once, when Dad was working in the Air Force, he grabbed a ladder and put it against the side of the plane. He began climbing the ladder without checking if it was secured first. As he reached the top, the ladder fell. My father scrambled frantically along the slick side of the airplane, trying to avoid falling with the ladder. A moment later, he was in the cockpit, his face bright red, staring down at the others with enormous eyes.
One of our friends who witnessed this said, "It's amazing what you're capable of when it's over a ten-foot drop to the ground." He joked that if anyone had looked closely at the plane, they may have seen fingernail marks from Dad's desperate climb.

Friday, July 22, 2016

German Taxi

My parents were celebrating their second anniversary. My father was stationed in Germany at the time and working on planes in the Air Force. They planned to take a taxi home after leaving the bar where they were at.
While my mother was standing outside the bar and waiting for a ride, a man began talking to her. They chatted for a few minutes, and the taxi arrived. My mother got into the taxi, and unexpectedly, the man got in as well. "I want my husband." Mom said.
At that moment, Dad arrived. "Excuse me." he said. Being very strong in his younger years, he took the man by the belt, pulled him out of the taxi, and got in beside Mom.

Friday, July 15, 2016

Water Bed

When my brother was young, he and our parents lived in a small home with poor insulation. One night, my mother was trying to get the heater working. Because of the way the air duct was built, it was sometimes difficult to light it and keep it lit. It was especially difficult that night, and my mother argued with it for a log while before she got it going. It was freezing in the house while she was fighting with the heater, so she was rather cold by the time she succeeded.
My mother returned to the bedroom, where my father was asleep. They had a water bed at the time, and when she got in, it rolled her right into Dad. When her frigid body hit him, he went from lying there sound asleep, to standing upright cussing a blue streak, instantly. My mother was laughing her head off at the situation.

Saturday, July 9, 2016

Things About My Father

In this blog post, I've compiled some things about my father. At the time I'm writing this, June 17, things are looking bleak. I've scheduled this post to be published on July 9, my father's birthday. I want all these little bit of information to be remembered.

  1. Some of his favorite animals are dogs and wolves. He also likes some mythological creatures, especially dragons.
  2. He has a sarcastic sense of humor.
  3. He hates apricots immensely. The mere thought of an apricot causes him to make a disgusted face.
  4. He also doesn't like beets, black olives, or lamb. And he disliked scrambled eggs; they looked unappetizing to him.
  5. He sometimes says that he's a wealth of useless information. Come to think of it, so am I.
  6. When I was young and we were playing, he would let me put barrettes in his hair. He was bald on the top of his head, but I still managed to decorate the remainder of his head.
  7. The bottoms of his feet are extremely ticklish.
  8. His nose was broken when he was a kid, and it's been slightly crooked since.
  9. My nose is rather similar to his, except for the crookedness.
  10. He has a strong gag reflex, which unfortunately, I inherited from him. It makes going to the dentist fun, since they always insist on putting tools or their fingers as far back in your mouth as possible.
  11. He hates swallowing large pills, as do I. We're jealous of Mom, who can dry-swallow pills the size of a small planet.
  12. He's worked as an aircraft mechanic at a commercial airline for over twenty years.
  13. He hates working on airbuses; he thinks they're pieces of junk. 
  14. He has a side job as a locksmith.
  15. When he was a kid, he said he was a "snaggle-toothed monster". As a result, he had to wear braces. My teeth weren't as bad, though I also had to wear the accursed things.
  16. When I was a child, he would give me piggyback rides.
  17. He also taught me plenty of juvenile songs. For example, a couple of songs from an elementary school classmate of his. "Here we go, into the lunchroom yonder, pushing girls out of the way..."  "I'm dreaming of a white sheepdog, just like the one we used to own..."
  18. He enjoys eating blue hake, which Mom and I hate the smell of. Sometimes he puts malt vinegar on it, which we really don't like the smell of.
  19. He hates Ferris wheels. The way the seats rock back and forth unnerves him.
  20. He likes eating Atomic Fireballs, a type of hard candy.
  21. After getting his braces off, he no longer liked really sticky food like caramel and taffy.
  22. He loves German chocolate cake, Mounds bars, and many things that involve coconuts.
  23. When you become a parent, you lose some of your identity. No longer are you known by your real name. Instead, you're known as the parent of So-and-so. His personal favorite is "Mr. So-and-so's dad".
  24. He and Mom have always been rather close. When I get married, I want to have a relationship as close as theirs.
  25. He was bitten by a black widow spider once, and since then, he doesn't like spiders.
  26. Though ladybugs don't often bite people, they seem to consider my father a rare delicacy.
  27. Ticks don't seem to be interested in him. When he was a child, his siblings would get ticks sometimes, but he never did.
  28. He can only wear digital watches. Analog watches stop working when he wears them.
  29. Occasionally, he's snored so loudly he woke himself up.
  30. He's been known to talk in his sleep.
  31. When he was a kid, he would ride his bicycle out to the desert to look for snakes. He also had a habit of taking a long stick and bothering them, even the poisonous ones. The reckless things you do when you're a kid...
  32. Some things bond to him and won't work well for anybody else. For example, every time we get a popcorn popper, it only cooperates with Dad. When anyone else tries to use it, the kernels won't pop well. Also, his smartphone gives Mom and I a hard time when we try to use it. Of course, Mom and I aren't good at using cell phones anyway, so perhaps that's a contributing factor.
  33. He hates the phrase "back in the day". He says, "Which day? Pick one!"
  34. He falls asleep at the drop of a hat. Many times, people would be talking to him, then get a snore in response. While in the Air Force, he once fell asleep standing at attention. Another time, he fell asleep sitting up, holding a drink on his hand. My mother and her friend fought over who would take the picture.
  35. When I was a child, he would sing to me. One of my favorite songs to hear was "Kumbayah". As a bedtime song, he would sing part of the song "Adios, Au Revoir, Auf Wiedersehen" by Lawrence Welk & His Orchestra. The lyrics seem bittersweet to me right now, and threaten to bring tears to my eyes.
  36. He likes role-playing and fantasy video games.
  37. He enjoys reading fantasy, mystery, horror, and science fiction books.
  38. When he got older, his eyebrows started growing in all directions, so Mom trims them occasionally. We joke that his eyebrows are like Mr. Carson's from "Downton Abbey".